turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
