the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
