brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
actually, I'm a sock model
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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