I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
