I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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