Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
