Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
