D3 body, D1 cock
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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