The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
