She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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