ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize