I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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