Everything about him screamed your future.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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