I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
