69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you mean i was at the winter classic?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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