I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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