I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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