I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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