It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We smell like vodka and hangover
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