i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
