If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
