Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
