i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
