well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
