I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how can u be prego again
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.