ADVERTISEMENT

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

  Fav 137 993 2955

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

  Fav 96 7899 1219

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just got to costco. Where are you?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

  Fav 33 15990 1326

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

  Fav 6 3939 1086

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

  Fav 9 1581 2933

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

  Fav 10 1568 1955

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

  Fav 5 1782 740

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

  Fav 5 746 1347

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.

  Fav 5 1015 637

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?

  Fav 6 880 590

  share tweet
  

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday

  Fav 1 686 550

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

  Fav 2 805 504

  share tweet
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.

  Fav 2 659 351

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life

  Fav 2 349 216

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .

  Fav 0 47 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize