You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
