I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.