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• (515): View more from Iowa

  if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

  Fav 11 4817 1470

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  The feeling are messing with the penis

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices

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• (516): View more from New York

  Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.

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