if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The feeling are messing with the penis
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.