I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
