There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
