i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize