i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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