"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I use my feet as sexual weapons
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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