Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
