she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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