Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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