well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will pee on everything he values.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize