Where is the hickey?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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