IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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