I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
