Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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