You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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