Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
