you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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