i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
