I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
