Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
