1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Boobs speak an international language.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
