Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
