Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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