Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
