She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
