Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
