..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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