Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize