Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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