you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
