I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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