He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
