love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
