im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
