thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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