whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
