I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
