It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize