Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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