Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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