Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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