I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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